Using fear as a leadership strategy "has a very short shelf life," says author and speaker Brené Brown, who says such leaders "have to demonstrate a capacity for cruelty at very regular intervals" to keep people in line, but Brown feels "people are becoming less and less tolerant of living that way." Instead, Brown says leaders must be compassionate but courageous enough to have hard conversations and hold people accountable instead of using shame, blame or fear.

Put it into practice: Reactive leaders are like kids who try to kick a soccer ball aimed at their chest -- they can't control the trajectory of the ball that way, Brown says. "A good leader takes the incoming churn and instability, settles the ball, takes a breath, creates some space and time where none exists, looks down the pitch and makes a smart decision about where to kick the ball next."

You can transform challenges from a threat into an opportunity, and change another's mind, by being curious instead of argumentative, writes former FBI agent LaRae Quy, who offers three strategies. Being curious means showing vulnerability, using stories to create a sense of connection and sticking to facts over becoming emotional, Quy writes.

Put it into practice: Asking someone to explain the facts of their position in detail can often lead to them softening their views because they may realize they are less certain about their views, Quy writes. "It's often not until someone asks us to explain a concept that we realize our limited understanding of it."

"Show up on time, know your lines and have a take," are three things actor Tom Hanks says he heard a director define as professionalism, and executive coach Doug Thorpe writes that it counts for leaders, too, who need to be present for their people, prepared to handle situations and have new ideas to improve things. "Here's what happens when leaders consistently show up on time, come prepared, and bring something valuable to every interaction: other people start doing the same thing. It's contagious in the best possible way," Thorpe writes.

Put it into practice: When you "have a take" on something, you're contributing meaningfully to conversations and demonstrating a genuine investment in outcomes, Thorpe writes. "It's like being a good friend who doesn't just say 'that sucks' when you're struggling, but actually offers a fresh perspective or practical help."

Sue Lam, vice president of people insights, strategy and culture at The Coca-Cola Co., emphasizes the importance of integrating people strategy with business strategy. Lam advocates for data-driven decision-making, thorough piloting of programs and interdepartmental collaboration to achieve business goals. "I see a lot of HR colleagues saying they need data for various initiatives that they have, but they could also benefit from thinking about what's actually the problem to solve before identifying metrics," Lam says.

Robert Redford, the acclaimed actor and director who died early Tuesday at the age 89, appeared in several memorable commercials during his career. Notable ads include a Burger King spot showcasing his humorous side, a United Airlines commercial where he provided a reassuring voiceover, a Conservation International ad promoting environmental awareness and a Honda Super Bowl ad featuring celebrity yearbook photos.

It's a star-studded issue of SmartBrief on Leadership today as we take in advice from Brené Brown and Tom Hanks and enjoy some Throwback Thursday commercials from actor Robert Redford, who left us this week at 89.

I recommend taking the time to watch Brown's interview as she talks about leadership, diversity, generational change and the hard work of effective communication.

As our divisions seem to be getting deeper, Brown's advice to have hard conversations and really listen to each other is crucial for us to hear and act on. She encourages us to develop the skills of clarity, discipline and accountability in our communication.

"You have to have a tolerance for discomfort if you want to communicate well and honestly. And that's at every level in an organization, in a family. It doesn't matter. A brave life is basically fifteen fricking hard conversations a day," Brown says.

Tom Hanks' advice from a director to "show up, know your lines and have a take" can help us have those conversations. We must be present for one another, prepared to engage honestly and with vulnerability and have something constructive to contribute to move the conversation and our relationships forward.

As LaRae Quy notes, being curious about others' ideas and opinions, using stories to illustrate our points and not letting our emotions get in the way of factual information can also go a long way to changing hearts and minds.

Unless we find a way to talk with one another and genuinely connect on a human level, we will have a difficult time healing our society.

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