When members of your team are told they should be grateful for opportunities or that they're lucky to be at the table, such forced gratitude can lead them to stop offering ideas and, over time, burnout, writes psychologist Joyce Vromen, who urges leaders call out such treatment, set boundaries and amplify contributions made by those being silenced. "The more we expose these patterns and push back against them, the closer we come to a world in which leadership is based on ability and vision, rather than an obligation to be 'thankful' for systemic scraps," Vromen writes.

Put it into practice: If you hear others (or yourself) being told to be grateful that they're in the room, call it out and advocate for fair treatment, Vromen writes. "Question why gratitude is being used to silence or diminish progress."

Disruption can knock even the best leaders off their game, but leadership consultant Marlene Chism offers five solid strategies for resilience, including avoiding impulsive decisions, focusing on areas of growth and rejecting defeating self-talk in favor of finding trusted mentors and confidants. "Trust your instincts, seek expert advice and avoid the noise of uninformed opinions," Chism writes.

Put it into practice: Don't beat yourself up for bad decisions you've made in times of stress, and instead look for ways to create learning opportunities from mistakes, Chism writes. "As long as no one gets hurt, chalk up your imperfect decisions as life lessons on the road to higher self-awareness and better decisions."

If you know someone who has been affected by a layoff, avoid cliched responses and instead offer to help them by passing their resume on to others, covering child care for them while they interview and just being there to listen when needed, writes Karin Hurt with Let's Grow Leaders. "The question is: What would help them right now? And sometimes, it's the practical, logistical stuff that lifts the heaviest weight," Hurt notes.

Put it into practice: Finding a new job after a layoff can take time, so set reminders to check in on those searching for work, Hurt suggests. "And don't make it all about their search -- because they are more than their job hunt. Celebrate their wins and be there for their setbacks."

Go to the show! The trade show, that is. It looks like 75% of you actively encourage your associates to participate in industry conferences. For the 25% of you who take a harder stance on letting people attend, the concern is likely that people will treat it like a boondoggle and not get any value from it for the organization.

To alleviate this concern, agree with them ahead of time on what they'll come back with. For example, you could ask them to come back with 10 sales leads, two new industry best practices, possible acquisition targets or new technologies your company could consider. Giving people homework to deliver on gives them purpose at the conference and enables you to hold them accountable for delivering value for the organization.

If they deliver on their assignments, you can send them to future events. If they fall short and don't deliver, they lose their conference privileges.

-- Mike Figliuolo is managing director of thoughtLEADERS, which includes TITAN -- the firm's e-learning platform. Previously, he worked at McKinsey & Co., Capital One and Scotts Miracle-Gro. He is a West Point graduate and author of three leadership books: "One Piece of Paper," "Lead Inside the Box" and "The Elegant Pitch."

Mentorship played a crucial role in the career success of Frank Vella, CEO of Constant Contact, who emphasizes the importance of mentors in providing perspective, serving as a sounding board and helping with difficult decisions. "Had I not had mentors or coaches or advisors, or aspirations through the example of people I wanted to model, I wouldn't have achieved these professional milestones. They showed me what growth in a career looked like," Vella says.

Jae Bae, a mixologist based in New York, finds inspiration in his childhood memories of his mother's homemade naengmyeon, a Korean noodle soup, and this personal connection to traditional flavors has sparked his creativity to explore how they can be transformed into cocktails. Bae's innovative approach takes iconic international dishes and reimagines them as inventive drinks, such as a sinigang sour, naengmyeon martini and a pho-inspired margarita.

"You want a raise? You're lucky to have a job!"

That's what one station manager at a TV station I worked for early in my career said to me when I approached him about an increase in my salary. I had learned, just a few weeks before, that a new hire, performing the same job I had been doing for well over a year with no raise, was hired at the same pay I was making. I believed I had proven myself as a vital member of the team. I had the receipts and was ready to share them with him when he uttered these words.

I quit two weeks later after lining up more freelance jobs that I could truly handle, though handle them I did.

I walked out of his office with one thought: "I am not lucky. I am talented, and any employer would be lucky to have me."

I worked freelance for nearly a year before landing a fantastic job at a cable news network -- not because I was lucky, but because I was well-qualified and talented. I knew my worth, and I was not going to let one man tell me I should be grateful for my job. I know why he thought I should be thankful: I was young and a woman in a field that remains dominated by men. In his mind, I was lucky to be there and should be grateful that I was admitted into "the boy's club."

As psychologist Joyce Vromen points out, it is usually minorities and marginalized workers who are told they should be grateful for their positions. It's a not-so-subtle way of saying we haven't earned our stripes but somehow are in our jobs because of someone's benevolence.

If you've been told you're "lucky" to be where you are, don't believe it. Instead, realize your worth. You're there because of your talent and your experience. The systems need changing, and we do that when we refuse to allow ourselves to be seen as less than. I had to work twice as hard to be seen as half as good as others in my field, and the only gratitude I felt was to myself for constantly rising to the challenge and working in even small ways to change the system.

When I left that job, I told the station manager that it was his words that motivated my change. I thanked him and said to him that he had been the lucky one because he had an incredibly talented team member, but now, his luck had run out.

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