Read people in 22 seconds, just like an FBI negotiator | practice (split each time) | Passion power: Fulfilling your purpose brings benefits
June 25, 2024
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Leading the Way
Read people in 22 seconds, just like an FBI negotiator
(Nes/Getty Images)
Whether you're negotiating a contract or managing a workplace conflict, learning to read people like an FBI hostage negotiator can give you the advantage, and former FBI hostage negotiator Chip Massey and crisis management expert Adele Gambardella say you can do it in 22 seconds. You can learn what others value, desire and believe by focusing on their style of dress, speech or behavior to discern if they are easy-going or challenging, curious or defensive or guarded or open, and you can adjust your approach from there, Massey and Gambardella advise.
Full Story: Inc. (tiered subscription model) (6/24) 
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Put it into practice: People can read you in the same way -- by the way you dress, present yourself or project a guarded or open personality, say Massey and Gambardella. Pay attention to your behavior, they advise, especially if your questions are "revealing insecurity, impatience or lack of knowledge."
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SmartBrief on Leadership
Passion power: Fulfilling your purpose brings benefits
(Ralf Hiemisch/Getty Images)
A "passion operating style" that doesn't really align with your true passions can lead to dissatisfaction and health issues, executive coach Alaina Love writes, discussing a client named Jamie who was sacrificing his true passions to fit into his corporate role. After some reflection, Jamie realized that setting limits on those sacrifices improved his job satisfaction and "makes me a better leader."
Full Story: SmartBrief/Leadership (6/24) 
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Put it into practice: Love recommends examining your passion archetypes and answering four questions, such as "From which activities do you derive the greatest fulfillment, and how can you be more directly engaged in those activities?" and "What behaviors are you demonstrating at work that are misaligned with who you are?"
Read more from Alaina Love on SmartBrief on Leadership
Smarter Communication
The quite logical Mr. Spock from "Star Trek" would have been an excellent CEO, as he never would have spoken emotionally or off the cuff -- such as Jeff Bezos blurting out a thank-you to Amazon workers for paying for his lofty space flight and MillerKnoll CEO Andi Owen's comments on how employees shouldn't whine about lack of bonuses. Drew Kerr, founder of The Four Corners Group, says knowing when to keep your mouth closed is an important leadership skill, and shares the "Three Laws of Shutting Up" and the "Wisdom of Playing Dumb."
Full Story: Fast Company (tiered subscription model) (6/24) 
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Put it into practice: It's best for leaders to keep quiet when they don't know the answer, when information is unnecessary and when the comments would be negative. Kerr says playing dumb refers to a non-committal response, such as "I have more research to do. I can't give a definitive answer right now."
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SmartPulse
How do you spend the majority of your weekends?
Relaxing with family/friends
 34.64%
Pursuing individual activities
 25.91%
Resting and catching your breath
 18.98%
Working and catching up
 13.25%
Some other activity
 7.22%
Most are relaxing on weekends. It's encouraging to see that 80% of you are spending time with family, friends, pursuing activities on your own or just taking a break from work (and I'll assume the other 7% are doing non-work things).

For the 13% who spend their weekends/free time working, consider the cost and the impacts. You'll never get that time back and you may be neglecting your own self-care and contributing to burnout. Work during free time also takes a toll on personal relationships which can contribute to isolation, depression and further burnout.

It's unlikely your employer is paying you for those extra hours too so basically you're decreasing your pay by 15-30% by giving away that free labor. Find time for you. You deserve it and you need it. The work will still be there on Monday morning when you get paid to do it.

-- Mike Figliuolo is managing director of thoughtLEADERS, which includes TITAN -- the firm's e-learning platform. Previously, he worked at McKinsey & Co., Capital One and Scotts Miracle-Gro. He is a West Point graduate and author of three leadership books: "One Piece of Paper," "Lead Inside the Box" and "The Elegant Pitch."
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In Their Own Words
The best leaders take responsibility for outcomes, give their subordinates a chance to learn from mistakes and become resilient in the face of challenges so they can support others, says Michelle Noon, the founder and managing partner of Clearhaven Partners. "The hard part is dealing with the challenges and then also digging deeper into the well so that you can maintain the enthusiasm and energy and help other people with the problems and roadblocks they're facing in addition to your own," Noon says.
Full Story: LinkedIn (6/20) 
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Daily Diversion
Sweating the "dog days of summer"? Blame it on the stars
(Pixabay)
The so-called "dog days of summer" begins on July 3 and ends on August 11, but the term has nothing to do with the panting of overheated pups and everything to do with the position of Sirius -- otherwise known as the Dog Star -- because it rises and sets with the sun over that period of time. The earth's wobble has shifted the annual event further into summer, away from the solstice where it once was, and astronomers say that in about 10,000 years, the "dog days" will be in the winter.
Full Story: Mental Floss (6/20) 
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SmartBreak: Question of the Day
June is LGBTQ+ Pride Month: The "Mother of Pride" deserves lots of the credit for developing and organizing some of the first Pride events in 1970. Who were they?
VoteAndrea Dworkin
VoteBillie Jean King
VoteBrenda Howard
VoteGloria Steinem
About The Editor
Candace Chellew
Candace Chellew
Chellew
Executive coach Alaina Love writes about "passion" in her article today, and I am of the belief that our passions can wax and wane. I once was very passionate about radio and television, but now, if I consider a job in that industry, it feels like I'm taking a step back. Same with the ministry. Leading a congregation once felt like a passionate calling, but that passion has waned. Now, I'm more drawn toward music, songwriting and performing. What's next? Who knows, but I'm following the passion trail.

What about you? Have you had passions come and go? Did you stay too long in one passion, thinking it would come back around again? (I know I have!)

Love's four questions help you clarify where you are now in your passion and if there are new pursuits that are more exciting and fulfilling. I hope you'll check out those questions and see where they lead you.

If this newsletter helps you, please tell your colleagues, friends or anyone who can benefit. Forward them this email, or send this link.

What topics do you see in your daily work that I should know about? Do you have praise? Criticism? Drop me a note. And don't forget to send me photos of your pets, your office and where you spend your time off.
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Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?
L. M. Montgomery,
writer
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