Research confirms that we like to talk about ourselves -- a lot -- with some people turning down money to stop doing so, writes Jeff Haden, a keynote speaker and ghostwriter, who urges leaders to use this information to perform some "social ju-jitsu" using open-ended questions to get to know more about your direct reports. When your team feels like you understand and support them, the research shows they'll like you and want to keep working for you, Haden notes.
Put it into practice: Research shows that employees who are known by their boss feel less like a cog in the system, so Haden suggests that leaders ask about their team members' interests but refrain from talking about themselves -- at all. "Your job isn't to be interesting; your job is to be interested."
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Leaders trying to improve cybersecurity must coordinate communication, think about long-term strategies and connect technological abilities to business needs, writes CompTIA Chief Technology Evangelist James Stanger. Stanger offers three additional tips for preventing "quiet quitting" in the IT department and implementing intentional security.
Put it into practice: Adopting a project-based, long-term problem-solving approach can defuse the tech department's penchant to "kick the can down the road" and clearly communicate roles and responsibilities to all stakeholders, Stanger suggests. "Better communication will result in better outcomes, better leadership and better cybersecurity."
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Ongoing crises from geopolitical unrest to changes in the office can create a "conflict debt" -- unresolved issues that create tension and cripple the effectiveness of teams, writes Jonathan Kirschner, the founder and CEO of AIIR Consulting. Kirschner suggests three ways to cancel that debt, including giving clear feedback, addressing the root causes of conflict and setting expectations, knowing they could change over time.
Put it into practice: Feedback is critical to team growth, but nobody likes to engage in it, so Kirschner suggests teaching your team how to give effective feedback and make it an ongoing practice. "Create opportunities for feedback in team meetings that will build habits over time."
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A writing prompt developed by psychologist Laura King encourages people to imagine the ideal future, helping reduce anxiety and identify values and goals, writes licensed clinical social worker Katie Willard Virant. "Keeping our identified values in mind helps us maintain motivation for taking identified action steps," Virant notes.
Specialized voice boxes, adapted over tens of millions of years, allow baleen whales to sing at volumes high enough to travel underwater, experiments on three whales suggest. The study in Nature, though too small to be definitive, will guide further research into communication by baleen whales, which lack vocal cords and instead breathe large amounts of air through a U-shaped tissue and then push the tissue against their unique cushion of fat and muscle to sing.
The advice plays off our penchant for wanting to talk about ourselves. Both Haden and Carnegie note that when we refrain from talking about ourselves and allow others to have the floor, they come away from those conversations liking us and feeling connected to us -- even if they don't realize we haven't shared anything personal with them. As Haden suggests, this builds a connection with our direct reports, which means they'll likely want to continue working with and for us.
I had a friend who was excellent at this technique. I knew her quite well, but I'd watch her at social gatherings chatting everyone up those around her but hardly sharing any personal details. In fact, if others asked about her, she found a way to turn it around to get them talking about themselves again. Everyone loved her, but none of them really knew her (which was okay with her).
I invite you to try this method and see how well it works. Get a direct report (or even an acquaintance) talking about themselves and share as little information about yourself with them as you can. I think you'll find that it is an incredible way to win friends and influence people.
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